She wasn't just any party girl from San Diego breaking down the bathroom door to unload the Paradise buffet and the remnants of the air traffic controller into a small island in the toilet while I showered. The cadence of bad decisions had soiled the subtle innocent glimmer in her listless eye but there was an unmistakable yearning for something more than a Denny's grand-slam in an alleyway (euphemism?). Something more unsullied than Roe v. Wade but less unsullied than the Bridges of Madison County. I warmed my face from the heat radiating from the friction generated as I motor-boated my way to happiness knowing the five dollars, binger, and slice of pizza would not go to waste. I kept trying to think about baseball as the belt I was wearing wasn't as efficient the one in high school.

I knew love wasn't going to be as difficult as the "Lord of the Rings", but that it wasn't going to be as easy as "Cop and a Half"......I also learned that Leather pants are a firm reminder that penial fracture can be brought about by more than just a rusty trombone...but that's just not a word that we use as time has gone on. Things have changed since the '60s in the south. And my children and my brother object to that word being used in any cruel or mean behavior.